I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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