You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
