AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
