Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
