bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
