I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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