6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
