Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
