i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
