I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
