I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
