is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
