you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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