he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
