she kept yelling 'call me bella'
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
