we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
