So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
