I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
