At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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