thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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