singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
