She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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