3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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