it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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