Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've changed since you got that strap on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
