please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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