like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I had to cum in my sink.
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