it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize