Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize