what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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