if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
