Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
