Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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