Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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