kristin has been a bad kristin
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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