I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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