People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
