Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
