so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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