with your own penis?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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