So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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