Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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