Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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