Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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