Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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