He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
