I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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