My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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