idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
