My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
