Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
