I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
