i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
