i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
