You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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