ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
