Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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