Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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