I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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