Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
