4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
