So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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