yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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